Friday, August 1, 2008

Hard decisions...

Well, I haven't posted in a while b/c my life has been absolutely CRAZY! As you know, I lost my job back in June so I have been interviewing. I just accepted a new position in the bay area so Jess and I will be packing up and moving up north. I start August 11th. With this job comes a lot of training (for work) and travel in the initial months. I have been through this type of training many times before and I know how exhausting it will be. In addition to the job change and moving plans I have had some other personal issues that I have been dealing with. So, I think it is safe to say I have had more stress in my life then ever before and I have really struggled with it. I usually think of myself as a pretty level-headed person and I am pretty good at looking past all of the little "headaches" and focusing on what's really important and good in my life. The past couple weeks have been really hard on me physically and emotionally, which has left me feeling really bummed out and unhappy.
I learned a long time ago that taking on too much and trying to do everything perfectly or at 100% is simply impossible and only leads to stress and failure (at least in my mind). So, something has to give if I am going to get through the first few months of this new job, relocation, renting our house, Jess finding a new job, etc.
So, I made a VERY hard decision this week to end my 2008 racing more racing until next year b/c I just won't have the time to prepare properly and travel to these events. I really can't fully express how bummed I am about not racing at the biggest Xterra races of the year (nationals and worlds). I have worked so hard this year and I feel like my best fitness is in front of me so I am really upset to be pulling the plug. I will even be skipping Ogden b/c I will be traveling to Chicago for an orientation and Jess and I will begin the packing/moving process. Trying to race at a high level with all this stress is simply not an option. If you have followed this blog you know that I am big on life balance and there is no way I can handle all of this change and race. Not to mention, I will be gone in Chicago almost the entire month of September for work training. I have really struggled with the decision and, honestly, I have been really depressed about everything over the last week. These emotions have caused me to be really unhappy and have forced some change, hence my decision to stop racing this year. I will be training some b/c I love it and, by all means, I plan to come back stronger then ever in 2009. Plus, there is no bigger stress reliever for me then going for some longer, fun rides and runs.
So, that's the news from here. It has been crazy for the last 2 weeks and the craziness will continue for the next few months. This was a really hard decision for me but it was the right one. I can tell you right now that my decision to stop racing this year is going to make me very hungry for 2009 and I WILL be back stronger and fitter then ever next year, ready to tackle the Xterra pro field.
Thanks for reading and have a good weekend!


runninggunner said...


That is too bad about the racing for the rest of the year. But as you say life is all about balance. And as mentioned before, the mortgage needs to be paid. Good luck in your new job and surroundings. I always like to say life is a marathon, not a sprint, so if you have to take a break for awhile, there's still alot of time to go for it. Have a great weekend.

jameson said...

I'm glad I'm not going to be racing against you next year!

I think you made the right decision. With everything you have going on I am sure it would be hard to get on the start line 100% and I know you don't roll any other way!

This just means you should have some more time for good times and beer drinking down in SD. When you get back from all those trips you guys gotta come down!

XTERRA 29er said...

I've really enjoyed following your season and have tons of respect for your decision. Can't wait to see what you do next year! Good luck with the move and the new job!

Matt said...

A little hitch in the program, but you'll right the ship and kick ass in 2009. Hopefully you're psyched about living in S.F. Not bad at all.

Good luck.

1speed said...


Yeah, that sounds like tough times. Try to stay positive though. I know how it feels. I was having a great season last year. I got married on June 1st and the company I worked for filed bankruptcy on my wedding day. I lost my job on my honeymoon. I ended up changes jobs 3 times last year. It really suck! But you know, you just have to keep pushing forward. What else can you do?

It's not all bad though... the riding is awesome along the peninsula. Road and MTN. : ) I am in San Jose, when you get settled in, email me. I'll show you some great rides. Good Luck!


"I don't measure a man's success by how high he climbs but how high he bounces when he hits bottoms." General S. Patton